Grounded for Life?

My sister, known as Auntie JuJu to Wacky Zacky and Zany Janie, is flying in today. We are all very excited for her visit. Unfortunately, thinking of driving to the airport to pick her up is causing me to feel queasy.

Back in October Papa Z and I took our first plane trip with the two kids. I now firmly believe people who fly with infants and toddlers are among the bravest of souls-that or they are completely insane! How hard could it possibly be with two adults and two kids? That’s one parent per child and therefore should be completely manageable. Right? Well, that’s what I use to think…

The flight to the Midwest was fairly uneventful. The kids were good, well I guess that depends which parent you ask. We played to our strengths and I took Zany Janie on my lap. At that time in her life she screamed when anyone other than Mommy held her. Papa Z took Wacky Zacky who had ditched Mommy once Zany Janie was born. I thought the flights to the Midwest were fine, with the exception of Zany Janie blowing out her diaper and pooping right on me before the plane even took off! I must admit, it’s a strange sensation to be sitting nervously waiting for take off and have a warm, wet, gooey sensation spread on your upper thigh. Fortunately I had packed an extra change of clothes for Zany Janie, unfortunately I didn’t have a change of clothes for myself. Papa Z thought the flight was horrible because he had to lean over and hold Wacky Zacky’s legs down so he didn’t continuously kick the seat in front of him. You’d think Wacky Zacky would get tired of this game but the second Papa Z let up on his legs the person in front of him would get a smack to the rear.

It was on the way home that the whole family agreed that flying was insane.

1. We should have realized this from the beginning when we saw the amount of luggage we had to deal with: 3 suitcases, an overflowing diaper bag, a backpack, a stroller, and Wacky Zacky’s car seat-and that was just on the way to the Midwest. On the way home we had accumulated more things and had an additional duffel bag and a pack-n-play. It would be a lot for four travelers to manage but when two of the four travelers don’t carry anything it was nearly impossible!
2. We should have realized flying is insane when the kids had to remove their zip-up sweatshirts and shoes just to get through security. You never know what Zany Janie could be hiding in her 2 inch shoes or size 3 month sweatshirt!
3. We should have known the insanity of the situation when we were told there is no preboarding for those with small children. So we had to load all four of us plus the diaper bag, backpack and car seat while we smacked all the first class passengers in the head as we made our way to the back only to have glares from other passengers as we took forever getting ourselves and our belongings situated.
4. But what made us truly realize that flying was insane was when 20 minutes to landing back in CA I had to pass Zany Janie to Papa Z while I blew chunks into a paper bag. Zany Janie began screaming because Mommy wasn’t holding her, I continued to get sick and was loudly dry heaving for everyone’s enjoyment and as if this wasn’t enough Wacky Zacky let out a yelp and threw-up all over himself and the seat in front of him. We finally landed and I had air sickness so bad I could barely walk a straight line let alone try to help Papa Z. I somehow made it off the plane with Zany Janie and left Papa Z to get the 2 bags, Wacky Zacky (who had puke everywhere), and the car seat all by himself. He was superman that night because he had to get all our stuff from the plane plus the 5 checked things, keep track of Wacky Zacky, and get the car out of long term parking by himself. After that miserable insane experience we have decided that we may remain grounded for life!

Zany thought of the day: Why do airplane ticket prices keep going up but what you get for it (i.e. good customer service, snacks, drinks, your luggage) keeps going down?