We went on one of our adventures today that always leads to public humiliation, tears, or both! We went to a dreaded doctors appointment! Wacky Zacky was due for his 3-year-old physical. I was lulled into thinking this visit was going to be quick and painless as we were immediately seen with no wait and the physical went exceptionally well with no tears. That was until I heard the last comment from the MD, "Go ahead and head on over to the lab for a blood draw and a urine sample". Um, excuse me...I'm sure I misheard you, but did you just say a urine sample? The MD assured me the lab had tricks up their sleeve to get kids to produce a urine sample.
I timidly guided Wacky Zacky and Zany Janie to the lab where I was greeted by a smiling receptionist who quickly thrust a urine cup in my hand and said the bathroom was down the hall. I quickly explained we were still working on potty training Wacky Zacky and I didn't think he would just pee in the cup. She then gave me a package and attempted to send me on my way. I looked up with puzzled eyes and she assured me it would be self explanatory. She instructed me to put it on him and he would probably pee when they drew his blood. We went to the bathroom and I examined the package. Neatly typed across the front was the word "C-bag". Hmmm....I open it to find a large bag with a cardboard hole attached to it. I put it on Wacky Zacky and we went back to the lab waiting room. Wacky Zacky began dancing around whining his "pee-pee hurt" and began a game of pocket pool to try to pull the C-bag out of his diaper. I was sure all eyes were on me wondering what he was being seen for. So we waited 20 minutes and Wacky Zacky finally got his blood drawn and was somehow able to keep from peeing. I must tell you, I don't know how he did it because this little guy can't go more than 15 minutes at home in his "big boy underwear" without having an accident!
So we wait...And we wait...And we wait some more. I try to get him to drink water and he will only take dainty sips from the bottle. I try to reason with him, but those of you with toddlers know how well that works. So we play the waiting game with Wacky Zacky in control. He plays games with me telling me he peed, then telling me he didn't, only to get my hopes up when he tells me he really did-but didn't. So after close to an hour later we go to the bathroom and that little booger still had not gone. I'm guessing this is a record for him! So I try to get him to pee in the cup and he begs for the bag but tries to stomp it when I get it anywhere near him. So we sit and have a stand-off. Finally, I tell him he can have a big treat if he will just pee in the cup. He leans over and neatly squirts 1/2 on ounce of fluid into the cup. I try to get him to do more, but he's already celebrating with a pantless dance. So I cap it and we make our way to the receptionist. I hand over our sample and with pitiful begging eyes I tell her it has to be enough. She check with the lab and they will make due with it. Whew! I think I would have had a nervous breakdown if we had to redo the test!
Zany thought of the day: Who in the world thinks up these crazy medical devices such a the handy dandy "C-bag"?