We have had to go to a few doctor appointments recently.
For most people, going to the doctor is a hassle, but they get through it unscathed.
For the Zany family, going to a doctor appointment is always a three ring circus show.
Each appointment is fairly predictable.
I always choose to use the double stroller because both kids are confined and I always have high hopes that they will sleep through the appointment.
We make our grand entrance barreling into the office building with my hulking double stroller running over a foot or two in the process.
We check in and go into the waiting room.
Wacky Zacky usually scowls at anyone who looks his way and Zany Janie coos and smiles entertaining everyone.
Then as time drags by Zany Janie starts to teeter on hysterics.
That’s when the other patients no longer think she’s cute and start to give us stink eye.
Finally, we are called back and it takes us 5 minutes to go a few yards because only the stroller can fit down the hall so anyone coming our way has to duck into an empty exam room.
Once in the tiny exam room, Wacky Zacky decides he wants out of the stroller and begins grabbing anything in sight to pull himself out including drawers, glass cabinets, cords, computers, chairs, trash cans, etc…He then realizes the exam room is filled with animal posters (not sure why since we are not at a vet clinic) and catches a high.
He becomes giddy and sings songs such as “Sissy’s teeth!
Sissy’s teeth!
Sissy’s teeth!”
Or my favorite “Mama has doody pants!
Sissy has doody pants!”
The doctor comes in and asks a series of questions that are not even related to why we are being seen.
By the end of the questions both kids are sick of this whole scene and are ready to leave.
I rummage around to find anything to entertain them-a bottle of lotion, a hat, sunglasses, even my cell phone if it makes them quiet.
Finally the exam ends and we take a full 5 minutes to get back to the waiting room and almost knock over computers, carts, and IV poles in the process.
If we are lucky we get to leave and we rush to the exit doors.
If not, we have to head over to the pharmacy in the building.
We run over 3-4 more toes just getting through the line to drop off the prescription and we wait.
This is nerve wracking because at any moment one or both kids could throw a fit and make life miserable for 50+ people so everything is in their tiny hands.
Our name is finally called and I jump up ready to do a dance that this excursion is almost over only to realize there is no handicap line, just one long line that is roped off and narrows even more each time there is a switchback.
At these times there is never a person available to ask for help so the Zany family becomes a comedy show for everyone waiting for their prescription.
We nearly tear down all the post knocking some of them into people waiting in line.
Finally we get our prescription and leave crushing a few toes in the process.
I breathe a sigh of relief when we exit the building and think I’ve got to make this family eat an apple a day!
Zany thought of the day: What ever happened to the good ‘ol days where the doctor came to your house riding up on his horse?
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